HoMe!!!

It is so close I can taste it.  I can't believe it is finally coming to the point that I am able to go home.  Last year I was planning on staying till Christmas.  For my own sake I am glad that did not pan out. I know this time at home will be hectic, but truly beneficial for my own mental state.  Soon I will be hopping on a plane and making my way back to CALI! 

Right now I am helping dog sit this American Pit Bull.  She drools, eats horse pooh, is skiddish around humans, sheds, is hyper-active...and makes me appreciate my mom enduring our puppies while we were growing up.  Thanks mom! It is like my view of children, I love them, but when I babysit I realize what hard work they are and am thankful for at this point that I do not have the responsibility of raising one.  

BiRtHdAyS!!!

So yesterday was my birthday!  I worked in maintenance driving around.  After work my friend, Sarah, had organized a little dinner with some friends.  It was such a blessing to be with friends and get some MEXICAN food.  I felt truly blessed.  Even though I am far away I know the Lord is providing good friends over here for me.  I feel very encouraged and loved.  Thanks you Lord for being faithful in life...

WiThOuT kIdS

The girls are gone and  I am now residing in town at my friend's apartment.  It is nice to be in a home rather than a massive empty dorm.  But while I am waiting anxiously I am fighting a cold and doing back-breaking maintenance, which I can't complain, I do enjoy the physical labor.  All in all, I am really excited to come home...I think that is my motivation.  Actually that is not true.  While I was working today I was thinking about the intense labor we were performing and I thought why am I doing this?  I started sighting the Bible, "Do your work for the Lord rather than for men" was the verse that immediately struck me.  I started directing my work and ethic towards that verse so that it would not be about just getting a job done, because I was told to but rather because I would be doing work that glorifies God!!

GoNe????

They're gone.  There is just a hollowness walking along the halls of our dorm.  Yes, this is how the dorm feels like at the beginning of every break.  But rooms are empty.  There is not even a remnant of their existence in these rooms.  They aren't coming back.  Well, at least sixteen of them are not.  I am left with just sitting here and reflecting on the year.  But I don't want to...I am lying to myself saying "They are coming back", but I have to tell myself they are not.  Hopefully it won't hit to hard when I actually accept this fact that so many have been apart of my life for a year and mean so much to me and are gone and I don't know when I will see them again.

LiFe?

Have you ever just sat and thought about nothing? Just watched the world float by as if there was nothing in it but you.  Today I sat along the Amstel Canal in Amsterdam.  Life just seemed to freeze. As all the Sunday afternoon boat riders steered their crafts through the polluted water I watched.  I watched and knew life was worth more.  Life was worth more than fitting an image; more than trying to suit others' wishes for myself; more than making a statement so that people can look at me.  Then I began to walk.  I knew at that very moment I was sauntering past women that were hidden behind red curtains, not knowing the hope and the boundless love that I know.  Their lives hang in the balance on the lure they can exude and the revenue from their wares.  I have come to understand the preciousness and tenderness of life.  For me, as a believer I must figure out how to show this....to show this when I walk along the road, when I lie down and when I get up.  

I tell people that my mind does not go a hundred miles a minute, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I develop thoughts like this where living for Christ is worth more than any luxury cruise down a canal or my next paycheck.  Within all this rambling lies the question: how can I live life abundantly for Him?

SoMeThInG nEw

I have been realizing lately that people that I depend on will not be here next year.  Certain people in our dorm I have been able to depend on to help me in tasks and fill in when I forget or just did not know about something.  I have come to the shocking realization that I can not expect that sort of ability any more.  Soon they will not be here anymore and I will have to be conscious by myself of these sort of things.  I have tended to use that as a crutch.  I am trying to be more intentional and aware of the times I need to step in and do things so I can begin implementing those tasks or planning for next year.  Preparation for the future without these certain people is key...I just didn't think it would be so soon.  

CrAzInEsS!!!!

I wonder when life will slow down....I feel like it is a whirlwind and we are just perpetually moving without any coherency.  I know our girls are wanting a break.  I know I am wanting a break.  I know everyone on staff is wanting a break.  Patience is wearing thin on most people's parts.  Last night our dorm was chaos.  Girls were just trying to get away from things; tensions were high; and there were many things we had to get done.  I want to enjoy this time, but I also don't like the frustrations that arise.  But I guess you have to take the good with the bad.