God is calling me...all I know to do is answer. I am ready to follow as He leads. I will present my thoughts, experiences and many adventures from this page.
Walk By Faith
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Lets start with asking for some prayer!! My missions team leaves in two days for Athens. Just yesterday did our contact give us any information about our trip. To our knowledge we are going to be doing a little sightseeing, but our main focus will be working at a refugee center called the Oasis in Athens. Oasis works with Afghanistan and Iranian refugees. Please be praying for camaraderie and cultural sensitivity. Pray for patience and flexibility. Following that I am taking two of my girls to some of the islands. Both these students are Korean and so they are unable to go home for the break. So I offered to take them around so they wouldn't have to find someone to crash with for one week. I am excited because they willing be moving to North America in the fall for college and I am excited to talk and use this time to pour into their lives. Well, here is the biggest news. I have decided to return to the states, meaning I am leaving Black Forest Academy. This has been a long drawn out process, but I cannot deny the peace the Lord has given me. Even though this decision is difficult and I will be leaving my AMAZING girls, but without a shadow of doubt I know this is His will. Here is my thought process: When I made my decision in October I felt good. Why would it be bad to leave Europe or my girls? But very quickly things were just not working out. I began to blame a lot of people here for my "unhappiness" and I began to rethink my decision in November. When we came back from Christmas Break I was ready for things to get better, but they didn't. They immediately got worse. I had to then recognize what was causing me to point my finger at people. I came to realize that I was bitter and frustrated. But at WHAT? Over the course of a month or so I came to recognize that I had made my decisions about staying based on fear and guilt. Fear that I was failing if I didn't stay for a third year. I like to go above and beyond what is expected of me, so if I didn't stay longer I was failing. And Guilt that I was letting my girls down; that I wasn't going to be there to protect them nor fight for them. Coming to those conclusions, truth was spoken to me and I realized that God does not meddle in guilt or fear. So, at the end of February I asked the Lord to reveal to me by a specific date where He was leading me and I would follow and that I needed a physical representation of that knowledge. On that date, a burden was lifted from my shoulders and a peace "that was beyond all understanding" was very present with me. It is still with me despite the heartache of telling my girls and so much unknown ahead. I am looking to pursue an intensive course in Spanish (possibly in Costa Rica) and then starting a website database for non-profits, service based organizations and ministries using photography to present their ministries. They Lord may change His direction, but for right now I am just taking it day by day and keeping my eyes on Him! I have learned that as we trust in Him we are filled with peace and joy (Romans 15:13)!! I am sorry that I didn't call you and explain this, but this was the best way I knew how to tell you. Thanks for everything. peace cara