WiThOuT kIdS

The girls are gone and  I am now residing in town at my friend's apartment.  It is nice to be in a home rather than a massive empty dorm.  But while I am waiting anxiously I am fighting a cold and doing back-breaking maintenance, which I can't complain, I do enjoy the physical labor.  All in all, I am really excited to come home...I think that is my motivation.  Actually that is not true.  While I was working today I was thinking about the intense labor we were performing and I thought why am I doing this?  I started sighting the Bible, "Do your work for the Lord rather than for men" was the verse that immediately struck me.  I started directing my work and ethic towards that verse so that it would not be about just getting a job done, because I was told to but rather because I would be doing work that glorifies God!!

GoNe????

They're gone.  There is just a hollowness walking along the halls of our dorm.  Yes, this is how the dorm feels like at the beginning of every break.  But rooms are empty.  There is not even a remnant of their existence in these rooms.  They aren't coming back.  Well, at least sixteen of them are not.  I am left with just sitting here and reflecting on the year.  But I don't want to...I am lying to myself saying "They are coming back", but I have to tell myself they are not.  Hopefully it won't hit to hard when I actually accept this fact that so many have been apart of my life for a year and mean so much to me and are gone and I don't know when I will see them again.

LiFe?

Have you ever just sat and thought about nothing? Just watched the world float by as if there was nothing in it but you.  Today I sat along the Amstel Canal in Amsterdam.  Life just seemed to freeze. As all the Sunday afternoon boat riders steered their crafts through the polluted water I watched.  I watched and knew life was worth more.  Life was worth more than fitting an image; more than trying to suit others' wishes for myself; more than making a statement so that people can look at me.  Then I began to walk.  I knew at that very moment I was sauntering past women that were hidden behind red curtains, not knowing the hope and the boundless love that I know.  Their lives hang in the balance on the lure they can exude and the revenue from their wares.  I have come to understand the preciousness and tenderness of life.  For me, as a believer I must figure out how to show this....to show this when I walk along the road, when I lie down and when I get up.  

I tell people that my mind does not go a hundred miles a minute, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I develop thoughts like this where living for Christ is worth more than any luxury cruise down a canal or my next paycheck.  Within all this rambling lies the question: how can I live life abundantly for Him?

SoMeThInG nEw

I have been realizing lately that people that I depend on will not be here next year.  Certain people in our dorm I have been able to depend on to help me in tasks and fill in when I forget or just did not know about something.  I have come to the shocking realization that I can not expect that sort of ability any more.  Soon they will not be here anymore and I will have to be conscious by myself of these sort of things.  I have tended to use that as a crutch.  I am trying to be more intentional and aware of the times I need to step in and do things so I can begin implementing those tasks or planning for next year.  Preparation for the future without these certain people is key...I just didn't think it would be so soon.  

CrAzInEsS!!!!

I wonder when life will slow down....I feel like it is a whirlwind and we are just perpetually moving without any coherency.  I know our girls are wanting a break.  I know I am wanting a break.  I know everyone on staff is wanting a break.  Patience is wearing thin on most people's parts.  Last night our dorm was chaos.  Girls were just trying to get away from things; tensions were high; and there were many things we had to get done.  I want to enjoy this time, but I also don't like the frustrations that arise.  But I guess you have to take the good with the bad.  

SpRiNg Is SpRiNgInG!

The other day I was sitting in our school's auditorium listening to a few of my girls perform classical pieces to an adjudicator for their end of the year review.  As they were playing my eyes kept drifting outside to peer at the aspen tree through the huge paned window.  The tree swayed to the lull of the music as gold accented its movements.  A person could not help but feel a warmness spread throughout their body as the musical piece played on.  

On my drive home, mustard, cotton candy, emerald, snow, grape hues exploded along every twist and turn in the road.  Trees are blossoming with hope for fruitfulness; blades of grass are swishing in the breeze offering a sense of freedom;  the dome of crystal clear ocean makes room for the piercing sun.  Everything about spring has reached its apex.  No one could deny the beauty...even if you do have allergies.  Lets just say I know why people endure the bleakness of winter...to embrace the newness of spring.

TrAcKiNg: AfRiCaN sTyLe!

I AM BACK...it was such a good trip. The first week I was a typical tourist; the second I was immersed in a traditional Zambian family (well traditional may be a loose term). But anyways, while I was there I was able to check three things off my goals in life...1) see Victoria Falls (one of the natural seven wonders of the world), 2) go on an African safari, and 3) eat a messy meals with my hands. This adventure was unreal. We tracked a lion in the bush. We followed him for about a half an hour and were about 10 feet away from him. We saw hippos, hyenas, zebras, elephants, giraffes, lionesses, antelope, baboons, crocodiles, and so much more. I loved that we got to camp. Being able to just sit and listen to all the noises that were taking place in the jungle was something I will never forget.
This experience was at times definitely out of my comfort zone. Throughout my time there the Zambians kept asking me what was the difference between Germany and Zambia...WOO, where do I begin. How can you compare such different places. Germany is an orderly, rule driven society; one the other hand Zambia has a free spirit about it. Yes, there is poverty, but the people are very friendly and share the little they have.
I think I talked more politics on this trip than every before in my entire life. We discussed everything and anything that dealt with refugees, the wars taking place in Africa, the relief efforts from the other nations, what it will take to free Africa from this cycle of impoverished natives, the elections, the lack of drive of the Zambian people have to reduce their 80% unemployment due to the foreign aid they constantly receive. I read articles, books, talked to passionate workers, Zambians...I think my head grew a few inches because of all the knowledge I obtained.
I had many men propose to me. Some man told me he would die for me...that is something I had never heard before, but he was at the top of my list after that statement. One man told Chris he wanted "to use me". Dirty man. Whites in their culture are held with high regard. We are walking money symbols...even if we are poor missionaries.

All in all, it was so fun getting to see how Chris lived. I respect him so much for being able to endure living the way he does. The house was crawling with insects...I got bed bugs...I beheaded a chicken...I bathed in a bucket...but Chris has been able to live in this, while remaining sane. I do not believe I could handle that with as much poise as he has. But the thing that is shocking is that people live in that environment their entire lives and know nothing else.
Well, this sounds like a pity party...but it was truly an experience and I will go back to Africa someday...there are a lot more adventures to be had and a lot more people to encounter...